Guess what ?
PSLE left 14 days.
2weeks.
tomorrow will be 13 days , means 1 week and 6 days.
sianz.
i think i've tried to use my heart to feel if sy is real this time.
but i think, i felt till ... he's not true, not true !
he'll cheat me again.
yah maybe.
and slowly, i began to think about next year, we won't be in he same sch, and all these.
So thats why bahh.
haix, guess today is another heartbroken day?
though i didn't let my feelings out.
and i talk to kor that time he kept turn to my direction o.o
at least i've smiled alot today, alot i think:D thanks to kor and jies and baobei.
at recess, played basketball with baobei and kuang guan.
hit till chin .. blah.. ><
after that jie min and jie xin jie say i pangsei they all, kept go with Sebrina..
zzzz
i'm rather heartbroken and sad now ..

Just now, i'm thinking all these :
if i'm gonna stead with him again, i must have to prepared for the feelings of getting cheated again.
but i don't want, so i don't wanna stead with him.
even if we stead, next year we also will not be in the same school together, so there's no point at all.
i rather not go into the same sch as him, cause next year if i never go same sch with him, i'll slowly be able to get overr him.
what i really hated most is that ring on his left hand fourth FINGER !
AND I ALSO HATED MOST IS , he haven't broke with his gf.
he's really... i dono what to say about him. -- speechless for him.

Why do I try not to cry, sometimes I think I could die. But when it comes out, I just want to shout, and scream and cry it all out.
I really can't take up so much things inside me, i'm so stress-ed out in love, studies, parents and lotsa lotsa things. I just dont wanna do anything anymore, just sit and cry..

Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody. You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy but at the same time you don't know exactly what is wrong either? i've got this feeling before, and i thought over and over again what exactly went wrong, but i just can't get the answer.



i'm sick of tring, it's all over, no turning back,
no more chances or even looks, you've had many
oppurnities that you've never wanted try to cherish it , you may just
not even understand, the nights lieing awake thinking
about you or the tears rolling down my face when wishing that you're always happy.
I wish that I could turn back the time,
Cause if I knew that your love towards me is like this,
Back then I wouldn't have made you mine.

I really wants to make him feel so much bad inside almost like
a feeling of knives going through his heart,
because that doesn't even compare to what I'm Feeling Right Now..

For every heart that found a love,
there's a heart that'll cries.
For every dream that is reborn,
there's a dream that dies.
For everyday filled with sun,
there's a day of rain.
For every hour filled with joy,
there's an hour of pain.
For every smile upon a face,
There's a tear to cry.
For every cheerful hello you says,
there's a sad goodbye.
Eventually, everything will comes to an end.

I cant stand the thought of him with his current girl.
It rips my heart apart to think that he would carelessly
throw away what we had.
for someone who could never make him as happy as i did.

I'm really so stupid, really stupid.
You know why?
Because over and over again, I've always trusted every word you've said.

From now on, i'm not gonna trust his single words, he've hurt me too many times, too many. I can't even count finish all the scar he've left for me. If he could feel the great 100000000x pain i'm feeling now, i wonder what reaction he will give me.....

Labels: brokenheart, give up, smiling

IDK why , i thought i've already success-ed in giving up on you.
But after i've break with Kevin , i realised i miss-ed u and loved u much much more than before,
I really don't know what my heart really wanted..
If you look deep inside my heart ,
You will see how much i've
really cries
You'll find secrets hidden,
Best friends, and Lies
But what you'll see the most
is how Hard it is to stay STRONG
When nothing is right
and everything is wrong.
NOBODY really knows me well,
I always wanted *SOMEONE* to know me the best..
I think i'm not trying to hard to live without you,
lonely and sad.
I always tried to GIVE A BIG AND HAPPY SMILE , giving out thru my true HEART.
why am i fighting to live if i`m just living to fight?
why am i trying t0 see when there isn't nothing in sight?
when no one gives me a try why am i dying to live
if i`m just living to die..
You really CAN'T see how much i'm suffering without you.
I miss-ed u more and more and even dreamt of you.
I'm always SO CONFUSED why i can't choose my choices myself?
why can't i choose who i want to LOVE?
I've so much doubts inside my heart......
And Nobody really helps me to slove my doubtss!
I wish you're the one there to help me slove ALL MY DOUBTS.
But you're inside your girl's heart
and leave me alone.
You're so heartless, to don't even care about me.
If only you could care about me A LITTLE BIT , I would be CHEERED so MUCH MUCH MUCH.
I think you've already meant TOO MUCH in my heart,
UNTIL i tried so much to kick you off my heart, it just doesn't go off.
I don't UNDERSTAND why you want to play with my feelings
I don't UNDERSTAND why you wanted to LEAVE me
I don't UNDERSTAND why you NEVER care bout me already
I don't UNDERSTAND why you always act if you're fine
I don't UNDERSTAND so MUCH MUCH things about you.
NO WONDER we've broke right?
I don't even dare to think how much you and your girl love each other.
I REALLY FEELS VERY MOODY WITHOUT YOU.
I really wish you could TELL me the truth, whether you love me ANOT !
I'm always wishing that something bad had happened to me, so you could care and worried about me.
and i'm always wishing that you know how i feel THESE DAYS
this means that i really wanted you to CARE so much about me.
I know that its unrealistic to think
That things will get better
Between {you|&|me}
Cause time-after-time
You just s/h/a/t/t/e/r my h|e|a|r|t into PIECES
But when I''m [without you]
I feel so t o r n|a p a r t
Everyone says to give up on you, but they don't
see you like I do. You're the one who broke my heart,
you're the reason my world fell apart. You're the one
who made me cry, yet I still love you and I don't know why?
I really wanna call you,
but I know that it's not right.
I guess I'm not prepared to say... Goodbye, so long, farewell.
I won't be seeing you again.

Ivy's DEAREST READERS,
Do you know the feeling of despair..?
When u really love someone, When u really care,
Its hard to walk away when you really wanna stay with him/her..
Do you know it tears u up inside, when u try to
decide between whats wrong and right?
My trust isn't coming back for him
Cause my love for him will always last eternally
He in my heart and I loved him from the start..
Its so hard to believe that I and him were
Never Meant To Be from the start.
I hope my dearest readers will not have the feelings i've had before,
the sad and lonely feeling,
without ur love one beside you..
Treasure what you have now and don't take things for GRANTED ..
Best wishes to my READERS , <3

Labels: give up