Changed Blogskin.
Causecause this one i really like it lots.
The previous one only okay okay lah not really like it.
Siao hor i kept changing..
but it's cause i'm sooo boring !
kelian girl , yah.
idiot parents , tmd !
Labels: dono
Sianz, today also received the choosing sec school's book.
Kevin kor , steph mei annd that guy are going bak to their country on sat.
so... good luck to them and bye bye.
tomorrow maybe will not go to sch, don't feel like going already.
annd annd good luck and best wishes to evonne dear dear's examination！
if life was simple, that'll be so nice..
Labels: dono
Helloo><
dont know why today arh, keep look till him.
morning went sch at 7.10am.. good that not late :D
lesson till recess...
Kevin Kor arh, 越来越会 piss me off har !
nevermind don't say him.
baobei today not happy D:
i also not happy D: , caus baobei not happy D:
her face today so glum , ... no smiling !!
really LEH!
haix, !
after recess science, than mt.
lunch, drank choco milk :D
walking to the basketball court there that time with jiemin and hui shan, shiyang walking to canteen, looked at him a few seconds and turn away cause jiemin say someting lols.
then hall not available cause p5 oral..
walked down to canteen again.
saw him but he didn't saw me.
sit down at the bench, talk talk talk than smiled and turn another direction, saw him also , he also saw me zzzzzz
he was like so lonely, kept walk here and there alone.
after that baobei call me to go up.
i dont want..
baobei and yuanting jie go up loh.
jiexin jiemin come and call me to go up.
i say dont want ,
jiemin say when sebrina ask you stand up u sure will stand up loh.
i say where got whatever whatever..
they kept say say say !
i angry already, shout and ran away.
running that time that baichi sy looking at those photo at the canteen o.o
dont want care and ran up to the staircase.
jiexin keep jio me.
at least jiexin is better now, jiemin arh....haix.
jiemin say she don't like people to say her than she kept say me and the prob is i didn't even done those things.
see......
don't wanna compare jiexin and jiemin but jiexin now really is more better to me lah.
ran up fourth floor , ran to water cooler.
ran bak class and put bag on my lap and 躺下来.
chinese mock test.... till 3.20pm
lining up that time, walk a 1 or 2 steps only and i turn another direction, saw him again and he also looking at that direction ...
today is wat day har? kept face to face wit him.. ><
after that went library to xtra remedial :D
good good !
after remedial came out from library saw dear and some p5s.
hehe smiling :D
Miss Campos ask us to eat those food.
ate small sandwich and that food dono call wat.
hehe saw dear smile so nice ^^
after that walked down with huishan.
walked home^^
today homeworks and homeworks.
MOREＭＯＲＥMORE!
haixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i'm dying.
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There's no love like lost love, and no pain
like a broken heart. There's no love like you and me
and no loss like us apart
Labels: dono, half happy half sad, smiling
Sianz, almost stress-ed out today.
tuition arh , <3<3 lah.
so tireddd.
tried hard not to yawn during tuition lesson.
haiyo,
still got lotsa homework haven't done.
good that sch homework miss bay gave is fri pass up.
today not alot homework from school lah, thanks :D
can relax abit.
after tuition i kept hugging Kevin Kor gave me der bear, dono why ?
now still hugging =)
last time when me and Kevin Kor patch -- Godbrother and sister lah.
he ask me whether if i've throw away the bear.
i say haven't , i put beside bed.
he say got hug?
i say never..
than he give me the sad expression.
the next day i ask him, you want me to hug that bear?
he say yah.
i hug lohss (:
haiyo, i think here and there, really felt that jiexin & jiemin jie are selfish.
i only follow baobei like 1 or 2 days then they say i pangsei them.
no difference from last time me and deanne, zhi yin and yee lin ..
so what you all want me to do?
you want me to follow you during recess or wat?
recess that time you all eating, me and baobei finish eating liaos.
i want go toilet, nobody pei me and everybody eating, i call baobei pei me luhs.
after coming out from toilet saw Kuang Guan alone at basketball court playing what.
you all know i always desires for basketball right..
than you all also don't wanna play with the guys basketball..
i only can pull baobei go play loh !
i call u all go play you all say dont want dont want.
zzzzzzz !
neverminds.
and i hate gossiping , jiexin jie still say when i never follow them, they say alot of things ...
i'm not even interested, okay.
Nevermind, i don't wanna say further, later you all come and kill me,
--------
Zhi Xin kor arh, 振作一点吧，不要像个死人似的！
Have you ever just wanted to die...kill yourself and forget how you tried?
Saying real,
though i didn't really expressed my REAL feelings on my nowadays previous posts,
i think i really felt pain inside ?
What's wrong with me?
i don't felt unhappy, sad, depressed or whatever ?
but i just felt pain deep inside my heart.
dono why, just don't felt like it is a whole , full heart.
haix.
emotional ?
heartbroken ?
moody ?
unhappy ?
depressed ?
sad ?
happy ?
happiness ?
sulky ?
idk which expressiion i'm feeling currently,
really....
maybe my face express very happy happy feelings , but inside my heart,
i really don't know how it is feeling.
thats why, i said feelings are hard to express ..
There's this little , weak girl in the mirrior. I wondered who she is? Sometimes i think i know her a lot and sometimes i wish i did ? There is a deep story in her eyes, lullabies, and goodbyes.. When she's looking back at me, I can tell.. that she's hurting inside. So tell me, am i really myself?
Never underestimate the PAIN of a person because the truth is that everybody are struggling. It's just that some people hide it better than the others, so don't underestimate the pain inside me too. Becuase i also dk exactly how i'm currently feeling. The pain , the happines or the cut?
Sometimes the pain inside me is just tooooo strong to bare.. & life gets so hard that you just will not care about ANYTHING. You feel so alone that you'll just sit and cry... & every second, you wish you could just die. Then you'll start thinking who would care if one day they woke up and you weren't there.
Most of them just never know, so many emotions i've chose not to show..
I see the blood all over my hands, does it make myself feel more like a man? Was it all just a part of your plan? The pistol is shaking in my hands.. and all i hear is the sound..... ......
I really don't know what i'm doing anymore. I don't know what i wanna see, what i really wants. My world used to be worth living for, and now it's hard enough just to be me.
I think i'm jjust lying to myself, for forcing myself not to care, forcing myself to do things that i'm not willing to. But if i did not do that, i would be even hurt and maybe i would die of tears.
There is only one rain cloud in the sky, and it's raining on me. Somehow i'm now surprised, because i'm always the one.
I woke up and think dreams are real. I sleep so I don't have to feel.
I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousands and thousands of years, or just not exist in this world, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but i want it when i get like this. That's why i'm trying no to think, i just want it all to stop spinning.
Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand, but sometimes i wondered, did you ever tried to understand?
No matter what, no matter who, no matter what I've done, somebody hates me because in most people's eyes, i'm a bitch to them. Just because i wanted to try out my own real feelings.
Life doesn't hurt until you hink about how much things you've done, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault.
Somtimes i wish i could just be a litte kid again, so when life gets touch you can just play pretend. I wanna go back to when Santa did exist. When your daddy was the only boy you've ever kissed. When Disney World was the best place to be. When the only movies you could see were rated G. When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change.. and your friends were the same, and it would never change. And everytinme you were sad or you've a bad day. You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay. I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter. When everyone always lives happily ever after.
I wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by, I wanna get lost and I don't know why.
if i could ever stop my life for a few hours, i think lots of things would be changed.
You know sometimes, like when someone dies, and you're sad, and it's okay to be sad? But then there are times when you're supposed to be happy but you're sad anyway...and those times are even worse than the times when you're supposed to be sad.
I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it. I just felt losted.
No one will ever know, the pain I feel inside....
It's so hard to believe, that you were never meant to be mine, NEVER ,
But at least, when i click edit posts, most of my labels for my previous posts are SMILING instead of other expression <3
Haix.
Missing that bastard guy again.
I'm damn frustrated with myself, kept on missing him.
I know must be patient to forget someone.
But i really have no time already what.
After psle i scare my heart will be touch-ed by him again.
I DON'T WANT #&@(#&(@#&*^!@*&!
:O!!!!!!
Sianz, studied , played , ate.
Really sianz.
I think i miss-ed that guy until i don't wanna study liaos?
haix haix haix,
SO HARD TO CONTROL MY OWN FEELINGS !
After PSLE if i still haven't forget arh, i think i'll be insane alr.
INSANE INSANE INSANE !
i think i'm alr insane now?
lol, jkjk.
PSLE tomorrow i won't insane one larh.
tomorrow psle i dono will worry anot.
SOO GOOD that tomorrow SEATING PSLE LC no need to sit beside sy. :D
Cause cause at first the seating arrangement is i sit BESIDE SY, then today teacher say got change , so happy:D ( but dono is real happy anot.)
aiya, actually like no difference, i only sit left than middle is larry than right is sy.
zz
Nevermind, i'll put my full concentration tomorrow :D
Haahaas:D
GOODLUCK TO EVERYBODY IN FPPS FOR THE PSLE LISTENING COMPHRE ^^
TAKE CARE OF YOU ALL'S HEALTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: dono
............
SO hard to forget 1 person,
the world's hardest thing to do is to forget 1 person yah?
kelian kelian me D:
haiyass.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY VERY SINCERELY WANNA FORGET HIM!
PLEASE!
I WON'T BELIEVE HIM AGAIN, I WON'T ACCEPT HIM AGAIN AND I WON'T WANNA FALL FOR HIM AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!
i kept missing him .. , hate it lots lots lots lots lots
Must to get on with my happy life, without him.
Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on, so i must to move on heehee :D
So wish-ed i'd a fairygodmother , to help me fufil all my wishes !
love is like a suicide.
jie xin jie still say she wanna find bf ,
she'll regret it someday if she've started stead-ing..
cause, once you've started , it's hard to turn back already.
Feelings are weirld ..
So , we've be SURE our feelings before we make any decisions .. yupp?
or else , ggetting hurt the one , is only yourself to blame ..
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i dono what my love and his love are count as? but i think i'll count our love as'SAD LOVE' .
but i can say that my love towards you are DEFINETELY TRUE!
But you, ? i don't know , and i don't wish to know.
cause i'll sure get hurt no matter wat ur ans is.
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen it , and i also wish i would have it ..
Great passions don't exist: they're fantasties liars.
What do exist are little loves that may last for a short or a longer while, that's "HIM".
i only can say, this guy i won't trust , won't stead with , close with and even want him alreadyy.
i'm too easily touched by his actions towards me.
i regretted stead-ing with him.
or else i won't be what i'm now, miss-ing and still loving.
but i also can't blame myself , because i didn't know that this kind of thing would happened to me......
Psle only left 20 days? tomorrow will be 19days ler...
Tml is last day of ghost festival bah? good luck :D
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God , i wish to seeks for something , really , only 1 thing.
Please , please , please let me to forget liu shiyang.
I'm willing to do ANYTHING in order to forget him.
I just can't stand the pain anymore, it really hurts hurts hurts so much.
I know my request are unrealistic or whatever,
but i really only wish this please.
I know i've to only count on myself to do it and alot of people will also ask for this kind of request, you can't possibly , or specially only fufil my wish for me right?
But i'm just asking only , hope you can feel my sincere about that request.
ThankkYouu.
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Maybe yoú all will think i'm siao or watever , but i'm really in pain i don't wanna love him anymore.
He'll not know that i'm in pain for him,
he'll not know that i'm sad for him,
he'll not know how i'm feeling,
he just will not know anything about me, ANYTHING!
I'm just wondering , is this god's will to make me not forget him ,?
and still continue to miss and love him so much ?
Felt very loved by friends :D
love u guys.
A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer
Thanks for always being for there for me when i need u guys.
thanks for cheering me when i'm unhappy.
thanks for caring me
................................
hehe anyw thanks for lots of thingy !
I rather be happy than be in pain hahass
but sometimes There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
Love is pain,
so i'll try damn hard not to fall in love with any other guys.
I wish to only love my FRIENDS.
who are much much better than those idiot stupid guys who always plays with WOMEN AND GIRLS feelings !
RELAX.
MUST SMILE :D
Labels: dono
O.O
Today, broke with Kevin liaos.
Full-ed of apologises to him, cause i think i'm the one who caused him to fall in love with me.
SO SORRY.
so wished to apologise but i think he will be more angry receiving my msgs ?
haix.
Now, i've lost my one and only best kor .. ?
REASONS FOR BREAKING :
1st : Today * sms me to leave Kevin cause * say Kevin don't even put me in his heart , i don't believe.
2nd : Chinese lesson , i told steph mei bout the sms * send me. Shey say its true... cause yesterday she go and ask Kevin if i break with him, what will he do? he say nothing loh.. , he say sad also no use.
and he said before , just play play , kiss kiss then break up larh?
3rd : i also dont wanna stead now ler , really tired liaos. only wish to concentrade on psle, others don't wanna care liao.
----------------------------------
Me and Kevin shoudn't started in the first place !
Cause he really have sincerity to ask me for stead, so i accepted...
now, i've lost a good kor.
i've regretted accepting him , if not , we will only be mei and kor now.
thats wat i only wanted.
haix.
SORRY SORRY SORRY !
i don't dare to seek forgiveness from you as i think i'm the one who's wrong...
i'm such an idiot, always getting the wrong boyfriend !
I HATE IT !
BOYS REALLY DO SUCKS !
DON'T WANNA HAVE BF LIAO!!!
Labels: dono
